the longest comment ever...

A friend of mine recently posted about her struggle with food in an effort to support one of her friends struggling with an addiction, and she asked for those reading to help by commenting. Which led to the longest comment I've ever written. Ever. I'm partially embarassed by it, but kind of proud, too, so I want to share it here since it was cathartic to write.

Here is Jamie's post 'Hi, My name is...' and below is my comment:

Isn't it awful that something that can make us feel so good while we're eating it (chocolate chip cookies, doughnuts, ice cream give me instant bliss) can also make us feel so bad afterwards? I don't always feel bad after, sometimes I just don't care (or am really good at repressing negative feelings)... but it's when I'm sabotaging my other *more important* goals is when I feel REGRET. Indulging, whether it's a treat when I'm trying to cut calories, or reading a book instead of doing the work that's waiting for me (like I did this morning), gives us that instant gratification, but what is our true priority? For me, I have to break out of the irrational how-I-feel-in-the-moment and try my hardest to remember the rational decisions and goals that will bring me true and lasting joy, not just momentary and artificial bliss (there's a gospel principle in there). I have had to change my whole mindset- to not use food/reading as a way to escape or avoid feelings or duties, and honestly it is a daily struggle- some days are harder than others, and most days I don't do as well as I wish. I'm so glad you posted about your struggle because I feel like I'm at a turning point right now (again) and support and motivation from friends is extremely helpful- for me I post my successes on facebook and love it when people leave supportive comments.


My goal is to live a healthier lifestyle by exercising and cutting calories to lose weight while making healthy food choices. Here are some things that have helped me...

~ Tracking calories on livestrong.com, and making it my homepage so every time I go online I can quickly update what I've eaten. It gives me a wake-up call to see it add up and the reality of the results.

~ Getting out of the house! I eat far less and am not faced by the temptation to snack when I am kept busy.

~ Keep the crap out of the house. I can't eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner if it's just not there. I've also stopped buying cereal since that is also something I'll overeat- even the "healthy" kind. And bonus- I save money!

~Exercising in the morning starts my day with the good rational perspective, giving me more energy and motivation to do well. This is definitely the most helpful, because the endorphins naturally cheer me up and I'm not so hard on myself. Sometimes I have to force myself to do it, but I always feel better afterwards. I never feel regret over a workout.

~ Replacing treats with healthier substitutes. My go-to treat is frozen yogurt. Way fewer calories than ice cream, I only get it when I'm out of the house, and only when I have the time. Because it's usually priced by the ounce, I don't get a huge amount.

~ Prayer and scripture study also help me stay focused on what's really important in my life and what I value and want for myself and my family.

I hope this helps! Stay strong and keep at it! Every day is a new chance to meet your goals. I also have a group blog that I've neglected lately called Girls In Shape where I can rant about my struggles and exclaim over my successes. And share useful information, and sometimes just funny stuff. Email me if you'd like to join and post on it! I think I'll copy my comment here and post it there since it's long enough to be an actual post :)

We love you and miss you here in La Mesa!

Heidi

it's the X.

P90X. I've been borrowing my brother-in-law's workout DVD's and getting some major strength training done. I tried their nutrition program in the spring and really liked it. Summer wreaked havoc on my fitness motivation, but I'm going strong again! I'm averaging 4-5 days a week that I either go for a 1.6 - 2 mile run or do a fitness DVD. My goal is 6 days/week, but only because it gives me no excuses to skip :)

Anyway, I absolutely loved my workout this morning because the DVD has the option to turn off the music so you only hear the instructor (he's a little weird) and not the background music... so I opened up our Girls In Shape blog and turned up the volume so I could work out to the cool songs on our playlist! So here's a shoutout to everyone who helped contribute their favorites to make our playlist rocking and eclectic! ** Be sure to comment with your most recent fav's so I can add them to our songs! **

My most recent adds have been Short Skirt, Long Jacket and Love You Madly by Cake; Tik Tok by Kesha; Wind It Up by Gwen Stefani; Starry Eyed Surprise by Oakenfold; She's a Rebel by Green Day; I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness.

Check them out!!!

Love/Hate Relationship

So I've been lurking in the shadow of Girls in Shape for some time now. Heidi invited me to be a poster on this blog months ago when she started it, and I've strategically waited until now to post. You see, I have a love/hate relationship with exercise and good health in general. And as of late, the stakes have only grown higher as a woman over 30, hitting obese marks and ironically, being accepted to medical school. I decided, once and for all, that if I couldn't lose weight for myself, my life or my family members, I at least needed to lose weight to be an example for my future patients. Can you imagine the hypocracy? "Uh, you are obese...and you need to lose 50 pounds or you are going to get diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, etc..." Uh-huh. And you're what, 50, 60 pounds overweight, oh doctor, my doctor?

Right. Touche.

I have been a distant cheerleader for Heidi as she publicly decries her lack of motivation, or enthusiastically shares her triumphs. She inspires me, as do the rest of you brave bloggers. The main reason I held back was because of my love/hate relationship. When I start out a regime, I'm all gung-ho, until the first long weekend, or vacation, or visit from company comes along, and I decide to take a vacation from healthy eating habits... I mean, that's what vacation is all about, right? Hmmmm... it's taken years, but I've finally learned that a vacation doesn't mean throwing all caution to the wind and indulging every little tastebud desire. I mean, this is me, my body...why am I treating it this way? So, back to my point...I'm all gung-ho and lose a few pounds, take the wrong path at the fork in the road and end up back at the beginning with those few pounds, plus friends. As much as I wanted to share Heidi's enthusiasm, I just wasn't ready to deal with a round of defeat, especially so publicly.

The love/hate relationship is mostly with the scale. It loves to tell me I weigh at least 20 pounds more than I think I do, and I hate it in return. Love/hate. So, back in February, I decided to make some subtle changes. Everyone is different. Different vices, different problem areas, different schedules. I had to find something that worked for me. And then, I figured when I reached a reasonable milestone, I'd start sharing my success with the group. Chalk one up to self-preservation. For me, late night snacking, and snacking on the wrong things at that, is my MAJOR downfall. So, I started cutting most sugar out of my diet. For the most part, I've stuck to a rule of not eating after dinner, and most certainly, not after 8pm. As for exercise, I'm poor and can't afford a gym, so I slowly gathered small tools that anyone can get: a medicine ball, hand weights, resistance bands, etc. I am lucky enough that with our tax return, my hubby bought me a small elliptical a few weeks ago, which I love.

So here we are, about two months later. According to my abhorred scale, I am down 25 pounds. I have more energy and more enthusiasm for getting on the elliptical or throwing around some weights, even when I don't want to. And if that isn't enough motivation, I read this blog because there are some pretty dang amazing women on here, each one with great tips and success stories. In the back of my mind now, I push harder through workouts for the right reasons: I want to be healthy to have a longer life with my loved ones, to run and not be weary, to be active and not out of breath chasing my soon-to-be 5 year-old, to feel sexy (yea, I said it)and lastly, to be an example to my future patients.

So thank you Heidi, for sharing your struggles because you are certainly not alone, for your bravery in posting it on the web and for your rabble-rousing because you make a great cheerleader. And thank you to the rest of you great ladies... I look forward to getting to know each of you on this blog! Eat well, sleep well and be merry!

a little affirmation

Permission to dream